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In Which We Kicked a Hornet's Nest

PostPosted: 2019.02.03 03:22
by VincentSeradin
Fellow Unistas!

I find myself writing up this AAR with a pounding in my chest and a shaking in my hands. But I must regale you of our brave* and noble* exploits in the wormholes!

We were, as one does, going about our routine in the Wormhole Campus in scanning down nearby wormholes adjacent to our home, as new holes had appeared and demanded our attention. I was in one of these new holes, the Zulu hole, as it were, scanning for riches and plunder noble exploration purposes, when it became apparent that this wormhole was quite the traffic zone. So it was that, during these scans, we noticed:

-Asteros
-Lokis
-Gnosises (Gnosi?)
-Magnates
-Buzzards

We were a regular highway, if the highway were filled with borderline insane barbarians with hair-trigger tempers and a never-ending thirst for twisted metal. Eventually, as the traffic seemed to slow down, we detected a Gnosis in our home system. I returned to home system, reshipping into a Stratios once there, and proceeded to work with Ana'ander Lamora to find this errant straggler in our home system. After all, the staff spend so much time keeping everything looking nice and shiny, the last thing we need is for some hooligan to make their way through and track in their space dust all over the carpet (it's like regular dust, but in space).

The Gnosis was bouncing around planets and wormholes before they finally escaped into the Zulu hole, and I followed in my Stratios. During this time, we began to muster up a response fleet to deal with this interloper. We were, of course, quite aware that this smelled like a trap, especially as the Gnosis proceeded to jump to every planet and wormhole, making it *quite* annoying to try and get a good warp-in position for the very patient fleet sitting quietly on the entrance to the Zulu hole.

Eventually, though, I was able to finally land on grid with the Gnosis nearby, and I ordered the fleet to jump into the Zulu hole. And then a Loki appeared and scared the Gnosis away. So now, I had a very limited amount of time to find this Gnosis again before our trap was discovered, :roll:

I landed on grid with the Gnosis again, but given that the Stratios is not exactly "spry," our fleet had already decloaked by the time I managed to get into position. But get into position I did, and decloacked, locking up the Gnosis and calling in the squad. And when they landed, we proceeded to start whelping this errant battlecruiser, though it was quickly apparent that the Gnosis was made of the thickest, angriest kind of tank. The kind of tank that tanks dream of when they think of pure tank.

And then a Loki appeared. Oh dear.

But we were several cruisers deep, and one of our ships was an Ashimmu, who was proceeding to, in scientific terms, neutralize the ever-living hummus out of this T3C. And it quickly became apparent that the tide was not shifting in this Loki's favor.

And then another Loki appeared. And another. And two Tengus. And a Hurricane. And let me tell you, dear reader, there is nothing quite like the cold sweat that appears when 4 Tech 3 Cruisers and a Combat Battlecruiser have appeared on a battlefield with you. But whatever they intended, it wasn't enough to save the first Loki that had engaged us, who exploded before his friends could chase us away.

But chase us away they did, and we left (possibly making "whoop whoop whoop" sounds, or maybe that was just me), though Joseph Maleski, our Ashimmu pilot, ended up paying the ultimate price. The unfortunate reality of being a ship that makes everyone sad.

-------------------------------------
Friendly Losses:
Ashimmu: 77,375,776.69 ISK
https://zkillboard.com/kill/74948662/

Enemy Losses:
Loki: 846,629,677.87 ISK
https://zkillboard.com/kill/74948657/
--------------------------------------

ISK Efficiency: 91.62%

*for values approaching "nonexistent"