[AAR] Derpatrons 2018.02.15 @00:00 -Valentines Day Massacre

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Harai Rex
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Joined: 2017.09.21 21:59
Title: Lieutenant Junior Grade, Sophomore

[AAR] Derpatrons 2018.02.15 @00:00 -Valentines Day Massacre

Post by Harai Rex »

Roam Members:
Spoiler
Arashi Shizukana - Scout
Beavis Alland - Vanguard
Brerick Enderas
Castor Udan - 2IC / Vanguard
FragLord Ots
Gemma Solett - Scout / unofficial 3IC
Harai Rex - FC
Juicy Onion
Kain Goodwin
Peter Pantaloons
Sone Eto - Scout
Traq Varoon
Wokum - Vanguard
Hey All! On Valentines Day of 2018 I put together a fleet so that all us lonely hearts could celebrate the holiday by committing 1st degree space murder. The doctrine was good old fashioned Derpatrons, and we took full advantage of how utterly cheap they are. It was a very fun and exciting fleet, including a mad dash around Tama, and capped off when a very special Brutix decided to make us all his valentine <3 (i.e. we welped).

"Can I just have it on record that Harai is allowing drugs on this fleet?"
- Gemma Solett, Scout, Eve University, 2018

We undocked from Stacmon around 00:30 with three scouts, no 3IC, and a drug policy that would make Coaxster proud. I decided to go with the "roaming scouts" setup again (which I go into more detail about in this AAR); Sone and Gemma were our normal scouts and Arashi was our free roaming scout.

Our first piece of content came in Renarelle, where we found a CAStabouts Comet and Breacher sitting in a plex, just begging to be blobbed on. Scouts and vanguards went in for tackle, with the rest of the fleet following shortly after. Arashi and Sonne went down in the scrum, but their sacrifice netted us a nice pair of killmails.

Atron -7.2m
Federation Navy Comet +37.42m
Atron -4.91m
Breacher +9.16m
Capsule +0.01m

After killing the Comet and Breacher, the fleet went to the Vlillirier gate to wait for the scout report when, suddenly, a wild flashy Stabber appeared! We all dogpiled on top of it and desperately tried to burn it down. More ships went down than I would've liked, including my own, but we did eventually kill the Stabber, so it was not a total loss.

Atron -4.83m
Federation Navy Comet -31.54m
Atron -8.58m
Stabber +43.3m
Atron -6.47m

The fleet took a short bio break in Renarelle while I went back to Stacmon to reship. Once we started heading out again, most of Black Rise turned out to be depressingly quiet. We didn't find much of anything until we got to Kedama and found Dirt 'n' Glitter (dng) out in force, with ships and gangs scattered in most of the systems plexes. Their main gang was about our size and consisted of destroyers, T2 frigates, and T2 logi, so we bid them a hearty "no, thank you" and went on our way into Tama. Whereas Black Rise was quiet and Kedama was not engageable, Tama proved to be a hearty buffet of perfect targets that kept us running and killing for 10 minutes straight. We bagged a Tristan, Corax, Omen, and Vexor, and apparently Gemma got a scram on some slasher that was later killed by dng, so I'm counting it. We got in, got kills, and got out before anything too scary undocked to kill us.

Atron -5.48m
Tristan +13.63m
Slasher +10.55m
Omen +20.19m
Capsule +0.01m
Corax +4.01m
Capsule +0.01m
Atron -5.64m
Vexor +36.63m

Back in Kedama, we found a lone Incursus sitting in a Novice plex. While their scary destroyer gang was still out and about, they couldn't slide into a novice, so we felt pretty confident going in on the Incursus. Scouts and Vanguard went in, fleet followed after, and we ended up trading a derpatron for a fairly expensively fit Incursus. We bugged out before anyone from dng could arrange a nasty surprise for us.

Atron -6.08m
Incursus +18.13m

"Everyone don't have zero transveral..I have zero transversal..and I'm down"
- Gemma Solett, Scout, Eve University, 2018

Although we had escaped Kedama untouched, a lone dng pilot seemingly decided he wanted more of the Uni, and started following us in a Brutix. He eventually caught up to us in Hikkoken, and taunted us to fight him by warping to a customs office at 0. At this point, our numbers had been somewhat depleted but people having to leave for Valentines Day plans, and we only had 8 ships left. Nevertheless, I though we had a good chance of overwhelming and killing the Brutix (in my defense, Gemma was pretty optimistic too), so I ordered the fleet to warp after him and get us a Brutix kill! Unfortunately for us, the Brutix was hull tanked, and had dual webs and blasters; in other words, we never had a chance. He managed to kill every last one of us in short time. Seeing that literally no one was left alive, and Ichoriya was devoid of derpatrons on contract, I called the fleet there.

Atron -7.91m
Atron -9.15m
Federation Navy Comet -29.98m
Atron -10.16m
Atron -6.65m
Atron -13.31m
Atron -6.4m
Atron -5.65m
Capsule -0.01m

Stats
ISK Destroyed: 193,024,959.87
ISK Lost: 169,947,740.07
ISK Delta: 23,077,219.8
Efficiency: 53.179%

Overall, I think the roam went well. We all had fun and a handful of newbros got their first taste of pvp. We came out barely isk positive, completely due to the ludicrous cheapness of the derpatron doctrine. The Brutix welp was ... not great: I definitely gave the order to engage before fully thinking it through, and I was overly optimistic about the capabilities of my remaining ships. That being said, I do think I'm glad we fought the Brutix rather than just moving on. Although welping wasn't great, I like taking more aggressive, risky actions as FC, as I think it leads to more exciting fleets. I think I've made far worse calls in my time as FC, and it was definitely exciting having the fleet end with a bang. As always, thank you all for joining and feel free to add to or argue with my AAR in your reply.

See you all around, and happy hunting o7
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