[AAR] "Noobs" On Patrol

[Analiese Aubernet]

For some reason, I didn't think I would end up posting here after I left the Uni. But, unfortunately for the reader, here I am. Worst AAR begins:



Reise was planning on taking out a BLAP Caracal fleet on this fine evening, until he started the computer and found his microphone not working. By some coincidence, I had been planning on coming along tonight of all nights and so when no one else volunteered to FC, I did.

As is BOB's will, when it rains it pours, so the fleet tonight was also graced with a number of LSC/NSC alumni - most notably Coaxster, Jax Renalard, and Saaanguine.

As is tradition, I waited until it was fashionably late after the scheduled form-up time and then started undock administration - there were a fair number of new pilots in the fleet so I did a fairly comprehensive introduction to fleet ops.

After the fleet got underway, content was reported fairly quickly in Uphallant, but turned into a bust. Fortunately, our scout tackled a Myrmidon in Dastryns and so we introduced him to the Caracal blob.

(02:45:40) Dastryns
Myrmidon +87.29m

From this kill came the first of several quotes which an unnamed EUNI pilot insisted I include in my AAR: "They're not gonna have enough dolls to show where we touch them." Fortunately for my future relations with the Uni, I didn't actually say this one.

From Dastryns, the fleet proceeded through Placid towards Black Rise without managing to pin down any targets, despite several juicy ones almost presenting themselves. The highlight of this section of the fleet, according to the infamous unnamed pilot, was the cloaky Tengu which "It's gonna 6 shades of difficult to catch" - FC.

At this point, a CVA interceptor warped through the fleet, causing general confusion before we realized you can't get evicted from lowsec.

In Oicx, our scout found a developing fight between a couple of small gangs, so we decided the appropriate response would be to warp in 40 caracals.

(03:13:32) Oicx
Vexor +44.63m

(03:20:39) Oicx
Algos +15.02m

From Oicx, I took the fleet into Black Rise, where we found a fight in progress between a solo Hyperion and a gang of Harpies and Kirins.
Solo PVP 1: Frigate Menace 0.

(03:40:09) Rakapas
Coercer +2.08m
Bifrost +113.14m
Capsule +0.01m
Stork +115.3m
Executioner +34.81m

From Rakapas, the fleet headed to Tama, where a highly illegal gatecamp was reported on the gate into hisec. Roleplaying as space police carries heavy responsibility, so this gatecamp was broken up with excessive violence. Glen Burney, being the pirate that he is, managed to nail a flashy Thorax attempting to escape into hisec.

(04:04:43) Nourvukaiken
Thorax +36.39m

Heading a bit deeper into Black Rise, Gatt found another gang fight and our heroic fleet moved in to break it up. Unfortunately, most of the perps managed to escape, but several were... detained.

(04:11:02) Okkamon
Slasher +7.57m
Breacher +12.04m

One jump over, our scout reported a Hyperion at the sun and moved into tackle. Much to his surprise, he found not only a Hyperion but also a Rook attempting to kill said Hyperion. Although the dastardly Rook escaped, we decided that no job should be left undone.


(04:16:09) Mushikegi
Hyperion +247.31m
Capsule +0.01m

Oblivious to the senseless murder of a Hyperion, a Gnosis continued to rat in the same system. One ought to pay proper respect to the dead, so he was flushed out of his little complex and unfortunately decided that the sun at 0 made a good bolt-hole.


(04:22:18) Mushikegi
Gnosis +122.35m
Capsule +0.01m

Dirt'n'glitter had been stalking our fleet all night, and I, the naive newbro that I wish I was, thought they might actually give us something of a fair fight. We postured at a plex for a bit, then they left a bait VNI on a gate. Being the WINGSPAN Delivery Agent that I am, I'm professionally unable to leave any bait untaken. Unfortunately, the greed of killmails outshone the virtues of "gudfites" and our newbros were introduced to the wonders of the Cynosural Field Generator.

(04:31:57) Mushikegi
Osprey -9.1m
Griffin -4.43m
Caracal -13.99m
Caracal -23.17m
Blackbird -9.57m
Osprey -11.42m
Caracal -42.86m
Osprey -9.76m
Osprey -14.13m
Capsule -0.01m
Capsule -0.01m
Capsule -0.01m
Capsule -0.01m

The fleet proceeded back to home station afterwards, and had nearly made it home before someone decided it would be a good idea to awox the FC, which quickly degenerated into a quite entertaining brawl.

Stats
ISK Destroyed: 837,953,304.9
ISK Lost: 138,471,352.95
ISK Delta: 699,481,951.95
Efficiency: 85.819%

On a more serious note, although I have not FC'ed a PVP fleet in a while this seemed to be an excellent fleet. The vast majority of the fleet made every align and caught every fleet warp, and there was a minimum of confusion resulting from my snap decisions to warp the fleet here or there. While the fleet didn't catch any of those real shiny killmails that can really make one's day, there was a fair amount of content out and about and our scouts did an excellent job of finding, reporting, and serving killmails on a silver platter.

As always, if anyone has any questions about why something did or did not happen, why I did or did not do something, or wants to know why the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything is 42, feel free to ask here or send me a mail ingame.

[Tokumei Kumiai]

Thx for taking over FC! Any excuse to get Logi practice is good! <3

[Saanguinee]

was good fun man good job FCing

[Coaxster]

my sides were hurting after this one....

(all I will say is: comms!)

[Drake Shea]

Great fleet and I'm glad to get more boosh practice